Hi, it’s Seamus again, your President. I’ve written about some reasonably serious things lately, so I thought I’d take the liberty of using the automatic spot I have in Nexus to relay some important news. 

 While stationed at the Safety Zone in town around midnight during Orientation, I had a pie from Etérna Café. Respectfully, I was not expecting much. In fact, I was expecting the usual experience many of us know too well. You order a steak and cheese pie and what arrives is essentially a soup delivery system with a pastry lid. The “steak” is somewhere in there, theoretically, floating in a sea of gravy, and the cheese appears to be a close relative of plastic. 

 But this pie was different. 

 When I bit into it, there was meat. Actual meat. Chunks of it. Not a vague rumour of meat, not a memory of meat, but the real thing. It was rich, warm, and deeply satisfying. Without being dramatic, if I had to liken it to something, it was like finding an oasis after wandering through the desert. Or, what I imagine it’s like finding an oasis after wandering through the desert. To put it simply, It was the sort of pie that makes you pause for a moment and think, “Right. This is what they’re supposed to taste like.” 

 I can only imagine how good it would be after a big night out in town after emerging from the concentration of B.O. the Lawrenson Group calls their clubs. 

 Now, I will concede it is slightly more expensive than your average bakery pie. But frankly, when you consider the structural integrity, the volume of actual steak involved, and the absence of suspiciously elastic cheese, it is well worth the price. 

  

In short, excellent pie, strong recommendation, and a welcome reminder that, unlike humans, not all steak and cheese pies are created equal. I’ll give it my inaugural presidential endorsement.